Seeing the beauty within the chaos

Seeing the beauty within the chaos

I've been getting pretty self absorbed in our infertility struggle. It has been all I've thought of or talked about for months. My husband and I want children so badly and are surrounded by parents who don't want and seem to not care about their children.
The jealousy is eating me...

But a month ago we got a call that DFCS were investigating a distant relative.

So tonight we have two teenage boys in our home who for the very first time are sleeping in their own space with their own pillows.

I had a 14 year old boy climb in my lap and thank me for letting him shower and for putting sheets on his bed.

And the 11 year old asked if he
Could have a tree by his bed and I felt horrible that all I had to
Decorate it was a handful of candy canes but he thinks that's the coolest thing ever.

And as badly as I want to be pregnant right now all I can think is that if God had already given us biological children we may not have been able to help these boys.

We don't know yet how long they can stay, but for tonight these boys are clean, fed and sleeping peacefully in the soft glow of Christmas lights (to be turned off when I go to bed) and I am so thankful they're here ❤️ -Jasmine

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