Your illness is a Blessing to Me
Ok I am sure you are thinking who would ever think someone's illness is a blessing. Well I do and I want to tell you why. When I was growing up my brother and I had the most amazing childhood. We had more then we could have ever asked for we didn't come from a family with lots of money but we didn't ever go without. My parents worked very hard for everything we had. From the outside looking in people always thought we had the perfect life and still a lot of people think that. While we do have a amazing life because of my parents it wasn't always easy. But no life is really perfect, when I was 5 and my brother was a newborn our mother was diagnosed with systemic lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, rynald syndrome and was given 10 years to live. This became a big part of our lives. There were days of real struggle and times where we didn't know if our mom was going to make it. I guess because we were so young we really don't remember our lives without having a parent with a terminal illness. Maybe that's why it feels so normal to us and it never felt like a burden and still doesn't. Honestly I told my mother the other day her illness in many ways has been one of the biggest blessing in my life. (Crazy I know) Of course her being sick is not a blessing and if it was my choice I would choose for her not to be sick but I can't change that so I choose to see it as a blessing. Its a blessing because it has taught me so many things in my life. It taught me to live a life of no regrets, if you do something only do it if you can have no regrets about doing it. Spend time with the ones you love and even when they make you mad let them know you might not like them right now but you will always love them. We have video and tons of photos of everything we ever did, even all the little moments at home which I like to think is where I got my love of photography and videography. Things are just things, you can always more money but you can not make more time. It taught us to how to take care of someone and put others needs in front of your own. It taught me about marriage about the vows you said and how to stay true to those vows. How to pick a husband, my dad told me and showed me you don't pick someone because you can live with them you choose that one person because you can't see your life without them. Also our mom taught us our whole life that if your feet hit the floor in the morning today was a good day. So put a smile on your face and really live up every moment of today. For this moment right now is the only moment you are guaranteed to be alive. So my parents decided to really live life, to slow down and enjoy all the little moments that mattered the most. They also kept adult things from us and let us be kids. We never knew the stresses of what was going on. They allowed us to be kids for as long as we could, so we kind of grew up in a fantasy world where all the bad was shielded from us. Now that I am adult and have children of my own I can only imagine how hard that must have been for my parents. It is also a gift I could never repay or ever express exactly how much it means to me.
That was the start of the Beautiful Chaos journey. Now I want to help people that might be in the middle of their own chaos see the beauty it can hold if you look close enough. In those times when the waves just keep crashing down on you and you feel like you might drown. If you just take a moment to realize you can't stop the chaos of the waves but you can learn to surf so you can start to see all the beauty the ocean holds. So the Beautiful Chaos Foundation is set up to help people see that even if our lives start to feel that the waves won't ever stop, that together can learn to surf the waves of life. There is a lot of beauty within their chaos. It is all about capturing that moment in life that is sometimes the worst moments of your life because out of those moments is when the real beauty of life shines threw.